January 22, 2010

Last night I celebrated with the women of my church the birth of a new baby. It's a joy to welcome a new little one into the fold. In the warm room of our hostess' home there was laughter mixed in the sounds of "oohing" and "ahhing" over his sweet face, as well as admiring the new gifts that were being showered upon the new mom. However, I knew there was something else in that room...Something not being expressed loudly, but I could see it and I could feel it.


I knew at least two of the women had suffered the great loss of a child. One lost her first baby boy as a young infant to Trisomy 13. Another had lost her 19 year old son to meningitis several years ago. I watched the mom who had lost her grown son hesitate, ever so slightly, as she introduced her self. I could see her trying to decide if she should say she is a mom of two or a mom of one. She ended up saying she was a mom of two and I was glad she did.

In my own life, I am dealing with a potential loss that I am unable, as this time, to discuss openly. A few of my friends "with skin on" are aware of the grief that I am experiencing, and I am thankful that I am able to talk about it with them. It helps to not feel alone in this sadness. I am grateful for their compassion and love...

As I was saying goodbye to the hostess, I mentioned that I almost didn't come and the tears that are never too far away began to freely flow. She asked me to wait a second...She ran up the stairs and came down with a book in her hand she had purchased for me. She explained she had read it when one of her friends had lost a child so she could understand the grief her friend was dealing with and support her during that time. She said she was waiting until the right time to give it to me. To say I was deeply touched, is putting it mildly...

The book she handed me is titled, "Holding On To Hope: A pathway through suffering to the heart of God," by Nancy Guthrie. I couldn't wait to read it, so when I woke up at 4:30 this morning, instead of snuggling in for a couple more hours of sleep, I got up and grabbed a cup of coffee, my box of tissues, the book and my hubby showered me with chocolate as he made his way to the basement to work out. I settled into my chair and began to weep some more. It's a short and easy read that is filled with, well, hope. Would I recommend it? Absolutely!! Would I recommend you give it to someone you know who is grieving? Yes, however, I would recommend you read it first and then decide how to share it with them. Every situation is different. Some situations, like mine, it would be fine to give them the book or suggest the book for to them to read and let them read it when they are ready. Someone else may need someone to read it with them.

I leave you with these words from the Apostle Paul.

 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Chris and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. ~Philippians 3: 8-11

Be blessed...


  1. Amen, dear sister, Amen.

    Thank you so much for sharing. I will be in prayer for you.

    Thank you also for recommending this book. I will take a look at it. I have a dear friend here, who lost her 20 yr. old daughter (eldest of 7 children) a year ago, just a few weeks before her 21st birthday was to come.

    Things are still tough for her and I'm always praying and asking God how He can use me to comfort her. Perhaps this book is an answer to my prayers. ♥

    Thank you dear sister Amy. I love you.

    BTW, did you get my last email? Will we be getting together while you're out here?

    Love you,

  2. This is so moving. A book I loved was "Tear Soup- A Recipe for Healing after Loss". It had such pretty illustrations and was very well-written. I've also found some helpful resources at God bless you!

  3. You are so intuitive to understand the undercurrent in the room full of baby joy. Heartache makes us so much more able to see past the words and into the hearts of others doesn't it?
    I love you and wish you didn't hurt! I'm glad the book brought words of comfort AND Im glad your husband showered you with chocolate!

  4. The picture of your end table drew me in. We are so blessed with all the resources (books, music, blogs, friends, chocolate) to address our private griefs, aren't we? Most of all, the indwelling Comforter Himself....May His presence cover all of your sorrows with peace and inner strength and unspeakable joy.

  5. Praying for you, Amy - I know what it is to have unspoken sadnesses. I agree with the poster above to commend you on your sensitivity to all the feelings in the room - it's so easy to get caught up in the excitement and miss the pain that is lurking beneath the surface for many.


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