|Picture credit: http://www.mrmen.com/uk/books|
In case you all don't know, I am stubborn. When I dig my heels in, I am inmovable. If you get me to move, I am a.n.g.r.y. the whole way.
Ever since I turned 50 last December, I knew a colonoscopy was expected.
Nuh uh...No thank you...
I had my heels dug in and I was not going anywhere. If the topic was brought up, I walked away.
More like, stomped away.
I was scared and when I get scared, I get mad and the stubborn meter goes up a notch or ten.
My fear/anger stepped up to a whole new level when my husband turned 50. He is one of "those" people. You know, the ones that go to the doctor faithfully every year for a check up and follows doctors orders to a "T". He made his appointment like it was no big deal.
After some tears, yelling, door slamming and looking for something to smash (yes, I am admitting this to you all) I called my friend Naomi and invited myself over. I was a wreck when I called her and I later found out that she was seriously concerned that maybe Russ had left me or something because I was that upset. When she found out I was upset because Russ had the gall to make his colonoscopy appointment for the next week, she slapped me upside the head and told me to get over it. No, not really, she is too sweet and compassionate for that, she is a nurse, after all, but I wouldn't have blamed her if she had. Naomi and I came up with a game plan to schedule my colonoscopy on one of her days off and she would go with me and hold my hand. Russ graciously postponed his colonoscopy until I got mine done. I needed to go first. I was afraid if he went first, I wouldn't go through with it. His only condition, I had to get it done by the end of this year.
Yesterday was my day...
The nurse took me to the room to get ready and she told me take off my clothes. I told her, "no." I was the first patient of the day. I figured if I was really rotten the rest of her patents that day would be a breeze. See, I was really doing her a favor. =)
Yes, I apologized to her....And then the tears began.
I cried like a baby as they wheeled me down the hall. The doctor needed to listen to my lungs and asked me to take a deep breath, he got sobs instead.
I was terrified and I felt so humiliated.
And then, the next thing I knew, I was waking up and seeing the face of my darling husband and the sweet face of my friend, Naomi.
Everyone all told me the prep was the worst part. I was sure they were all lying to me. They weren't. It was the worst part.
Now I know.